Compassion and Understanding do Exist Sometimes

So that was weird.  I wasn’t in such great shape on Friday and was talking on the phone to my therapist (the current one, not the one I’ve talked about in connection which so much hurt and painful rejection feelings) and she said I needed to come meet with her (on a Saturday).  Actually she started out in her more natural way of offering to meet with me if I needed to, but she has gotten to know me a bit better and my somewhat ridiculous ways and seemed to realize that the only way I was going to accept was if she just told me to come.  Otherwise too much crushing guilt about being burdensome would be the order of the day.  So give to me simple and without a lot of confusing choices.  Apparently I am a bit silly like that about things, but it actually felt like a very warming experience because it does appear to indicate the possibility that she cares, possibly (that’s about all I seem to be able to manage but it’s a lot for me).  It also totally brought back memories of my early recovery, which might not sound heartwarming but it was such a relief to have people finally know what to do with me.  They knew what I was and how to work with me and did it without making me feel judged as a person.  They just helped me.  And sometimes that included threats, but that’s what it took, and they knew that and it was okay.  So it’s odd but being understood even when one is being a bit ridiculous can feel good more than shameful.  And for  me to say anything felt more good than shameful is kind of a big deal.

Explore posts in the same categories: attachment, Change, Coping strategies, Recovery, Therapy, Uncategorized

Tags: compassion, rejection, Therapy

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