Tonight, settling down after the day, I feel like I’ve been at war.
The way I actually spent my day was packing up boxes (moving Friday), and with some AA women, and at therapy–in other words besides the boxes part in spots where I feel cared about, loved even. But I was physically afraid–terrified, crawly [...]
That title is a little tasty bit of snippiness for my spouse, in case he’s reading, since he’s wondered if maybe I’m a little too focused on the negative, possibly because of my last few posts, and because he’s stressed (as I’m stressed) about moving and getting our new place livable.
It’s funny, because really I [...]
I’ve had some interactions with people lately in which I’ve experienced a profound recognition of dynamics in them that I have–those moments when I can suddenly and clearly see something about myself from the outside. The more interesting parts of those interactions were actually probably more what I learned or gained by listening to them, [...]
I didn’t used to think of this word as a noun, but I keep hearing it used that way, and it does make a sort of sense. It’s always made sense as a verb, in the “I’m getting overwhelmed” type of phrase. But it is also a state, or maybe a thing–a big blobby shapeless [...]
Goals that seem just out of reach–these I like. They make me stretch, literally or figuratively, preferably both. They make me move out into uncertainty, into fear of failure and whatever else is at stake. They make me act shamelessly. They make me act as if I am not paralyzed by shame–by the sense of [...]
I’m easing up on running for a few days due to a little crunch and twinge in one of me knees, and I’m trying to be reasonable for a change so it rights itself quickly as possible, so I can keep from getting too off of my marathon training. And I’ve been doing a little [...]
I’ve been reading John Bradshaw’s Healing the Shame that Binds You and relating to everything in it. To my great shame, of course.
One of my ways of reacting to shame is the unsurprising strategy of hiding, but I also quite like to do the opposite, to tell all. This does have it’s usefulness if it’s [...]
Empathy. In-feeling.
-feeling what another feels, taking it in-
-not that it’s so simple-
Can we feel what another feels if we haven’t had the experience ourselves?
Or would the ability to draw a parallel between something we have experienced and the other’s experience to feel how they feel work too?
Or isn’t empathy even (only) about going inward [...]
I’ve been drooping down like a droopy heavy-headed sagging rose blossom languishing and drooping down. In other words I’ve been tired. Boo-hoo, I know. Or actually not. When I’m feeling tired or taxed by work or sick or anything like that–a strong sensation with identifiable source and clear role/expectations for myself [...]
The deterioration is happening on the front–the battle-zone–of my little struggles (read: not “little,” “HUGE” 
with not letting the negative thoughts and discussions that go on in my head mean too much to me, and not taking in things that aren’t truly about me, and not deciding that everything is a sign of my [...]
