Intensity: To Embody the Unhinging Mind
It’s no new idea that Western thought has tended to view the body and mind as two different things, and has tended to privilege the mind over the body.
Well my mind is a big trouble-maker. So thinking of the body as the mind’s instrument, captive to its will, is not such a good idea. The mind has it’s uses, of course, but it does not always direct me well. So I am glad that I don’t feel such as extreme body/mind split. I do have a tendency to get detached–dissociated is the word I guess–under certain conditions. And then I need to do things to bring myself back, and sensation is the major thing that works. Now it’s just a matter of choosing what kind of sensations and physical experiences are most suitable and least problematic to use for this.
But anyway, the body/mind duality thing seems much more often critiqued/questioned these days. Just the other day, I heard a radiolab podcast that talked about emotions as being the ways in which the mind interprets the body’s signals; for instance terror could be the mind’s way of making sense of the heart’s racing, the rush of adrenline, the sensation of plummeting in the belly. . .
I always find myself wanting to mess around with my bodily self to manage my emotional self, and sometimes this can make me feel a bit crazy. But thinking about the close relationship between how the body reacts to things and the emotional responses of the brain, and even the possibility that sometimes the body knows things before the brain (not to mention that it knows things that the brain has forgotten in the body memories we carry). . .these things make me think there’s something not entirely wacko about my trying to manage emotions through physical means. This is not to say that it’s optimal coping technique, or healthy; it isn’t to deny that it can be self-destructive. But it makes a sort of sense, and feels less like something to feel quite so weird about.
So many ways to manage emotions through the body. . .eating/not eating, over-/under-sleeping, inaction/extreme exercise, and other things. . .a tatoo, a scar, speed (I mean going fast rather than the drug, but of course the drug too, so let’s include that), drugs, creating conflict to get a little rush (you see I have ADHD, among other things), putting weighted objects upon myself (I learned that in yoga but now know it’s something they recommend for people for sensory integration issues/ADHD). . .
soft textures, lying on the ground/floor to feel grounded and to become aware of the shape of my bones, petting cats, hot water, cold water. . .this is just what I’ve thought of so far. I expect there’s more I’m not aware of, and/or more I’ll discover.
I don’t know exactly how I feel about all these things. I realize some are harmful and/or dangerous. And I’ve dropped alcohol and anything but meds I’m prescribed for that reason. But some I’m attached to nonetheless, and some I don’t think are harmful. Some are about soaking up the sensations life has to offer–experiencing its intensities and varieties. I don’t wish to live an unstimulating life; I want more than dull flatness.
So I don’t know where I am with most of this, what I intend or wish to do differently. Something to think about, and to play with.
Tags: addiction, ADHD, body and mind, dissociation, dualism, embodiment, grounding, harm, Risk, sensation, somatic
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